The doctor’s family council
Despite vast technological advancements and efficiency gains over the past century, parents around the world are feeling more overworked and stressed than ever. In addition, the global pandemic has accelerated and accentuated these problems for many parents, as children and work were simultaneously part of family life.
Physicians are some of the busiest and busiest professionals in the modern workforce. The more you learn about their life, the more appreciation and admiration you gain for them. As a result, finding quality time to connect with their children is more difficult than ever.
Jim Sheils, speaker, real estate investor and author of the book, “The family council meeting“, gives busy healthcare professionals a light at the end of the tunnel: a simple three-step process for spending quality time with their children and deepening their parent-child bond.
In his book, Jim writes that he realized he had neglected to spend quality time with his children while starting his real estate business. He said: “What we didn’t notice was that our efforts to financially support our children was undermining our ability to support them emotionally. The devices that seemed to connect us so easily were actually dividing us. “
Jim decided that from that day forward he was going to put his kids first just like he had his business first. He realized that he needed a structured, precise and repeatable process if he was to cultivate a bond of love between himself and his children.
This led him to develop “The Family Board Meeting”, a simple three-step process to show his children how important they are to him.
The idea is simple: Each term, Jim spends four distraction-free hours one-on-one with each of his children doing a fun activity of their choice.
Jim realized he was good at getting things done in his business; he set clear goals, prioritized the steps, took action and achieved his goals. But when it came to spending time with his kids, he always intended to hang out with them, but never made it, and their relationships showed it.
He writes, “We all have big plans for spending quality time with family. But consider this: If you relied solely on good intentions to do your job or build your business every day, how would you do? Probably not so well. “
He continues: “Being successful in your family life, as in your professional life, requires more than just intention, it requires execution. And that means that having the intention to spend quality time with your children is not. not the same as actually doing it. “
Here are Jim’s three steps to cultivating wonderful parent-child relationships:
Step 1: Get a one-on-one.
Part of the secret to Jim’s success in building deep parent-child relationships is spending time with his children one-on-one. Jim explains that it shows his children that he cares about them as individuals and that it allows them to talk more openly than they would with another sibling or friend.
He writes: “It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that any time with your children is a real quality time; This is not the case. When it comes to connection, no more than two is a crowd.
Surprisingly, during his work with other parents, he has found that while most parents do a decent job spending time with their children, they rarely remember spending time one-on-one. with each of their children.
Jim continues, “A lot of people we spoke to didn’t remember a single one-on-one time with their kids … Very few had regular one-on-one times.”
The first step towards building an amazing parent-child bond is “to give your children the gift of spending individual, focused time together,” he writes.
Step 2: Disconnect to reconnect (no electronics).
For the board meeting to be successful, phones and other electronic devices must be turned off and put away for the duration of the time together. Bringing a phone is no different from bringing another person, breaking the one-on-one rule.
Jim writes that one of his favorite parts of every family council meeting is the ritual of turning off his phone, which his kids help him do. This allows her to spend truly focused and distraction-free time with her children. Plus, it helps her show her kids that they’re more important than an incoming email, text, or call, and that they have their undivided attention.
The only exception to this rule is for a photo together during the family council meeting. Jim says this is crucial for the next step, focused thinking.
Step 3: Choose fun activities with focused thinking.
When it comes to choosing the activity, it’s best to let your kids decide. It doesn’t have to be overdone or expensive, as long as your child is having fun. Jim warns that many parents will unconsciously find themselves trying to guide their child’s decisions towards the best interests of the parents, despite the child’s lack of interest.
The best advice here is to let your child decide what would be a fun activity for the day. It will also help your kids take ownership of the family council meeting, creating instant membership. Plus, it’s a great way for parents to better understand their children’s interests and hobbies, and to have a front-row seat as those interests change over time.
The next aspect is where most parents get nervous: focused thinking. Jim quickly dispels the nerves by advising, “A lot of parents get nervous about this part, but it’s easier than you might think. It may only take five minutes. In fact, we recommend that you keep it short, especially at the beginning. “
After four hours of fun together, you have reached a point where you and your child are open to a real connection. Jim says he likes to start the conversation with this simple question: What was your favorite part of today?
From there, it’s as easy as listening and thinking with your child. Jim says this is when many parents find out that their children are opening up to bigger topics.
The time you spend on them often lays the foundation on which you can become more involved in their questions, goals, fears, and dreams. For me, that’s exactly the sort of thing I want to be a sounding board for my kids on!
TrueNorth Wealth is here to help.
One of the biggest stressors doctors and parents face is their finances. Knowing how to protect, invest and optimize one’s heritage is a constant concern; not to mention tax planning. All of this usually takes time, a lot of time!
At TrueNorth Wealth, we offer busy physicians the opportunity to offload most of their financial decision-making by matching each client with a dedicated CFP® professional backed by an amazing team. As a result, each client gets a clear and understandable financial plan tailored to their unique goals. Remember, we are working for you. So we give our opinion and go through everything you want about your finances. For our clients, if they are not interested in our opinion on a subject, so much the better! We go directly to the next topic / item.
For our team at TrueNorth, it’s about more than money. It’s about serving families across Utah and helping them achieve freedom and flexibility in their lives. To learn more or schedule a free consultation, visit our website at The wealth of TrueNorth or call (801) 316-1875.